Mum_Law_Sibling_Inheritance………OMG Inheritance issues before Death!?
Adulting has been very hard lately – taking on responsibility for Mums care was an easy decision but comes with a full set of tasks needing to be done daily; working full-time I am starting to become a great juggler and in saying that I am finding the responsibility does make me stop and take time in my busy day for personal matters, booking appointments, following up on things and checking in on Mum and my family! In the past I’ve been known to completely ignore my personal life when at work and wasn’t known to be very organised when it came to personal appointments and follow-up for myself or my family, work came first, Mum raised me with a work ethic to match hers!
While on annual leave (3 weeks away from the business of managing people and clients, yah!), I grew up even more, one reason being I had my 53rd birthday, haha, but more importantly than that I needed to realise my new role also came with a lot of negative comment and innuendo due to being in control of my Mum’s money! Wow, wow, wee – I wasn’t prepared nor expecting this, not from my one and only sibling who had relinquished Mums care to me and organised that I be her power of attorney! You what? Now you think I am ripping Mum off?
Needless to say I’ve grown up quickly and luckily I had from the beginning kept receipts for everything she purchased and payments, I am no bunny! I have never wanted to be estranged from my family nor had I imagined this would ever happen, but there you go, like a witches brew and with the right ingredients you have a toxic mix of:-
jealousy, greed and lies! Not a pretty picture but one that is played out in many families throughout the world on a daily basis.
I learned this in talking with experts in this area and through internet research, wow – I was definitely naive, I always thought ‘if you are doing something for all the right reasons and with the right intent’ then you can’t go wrong! Wrong, this was obviously a very immature statement when dealing with people and money, or should I say future inheritance funds!!!
I now understand many people do start to count their chickens before they hatch, or should I say in this case their dollars before their loved one’s death! Blunt I know but true in so many cases and definitely in ours!
Forgotten are the loved ones and their future or current needs, wants and wishes, how totally sad and disappointing we need to discuss issues like these with them when in fact we are saying to them, “just hang on a minute whilst we have an argument around what will be left of your money when you die, as there are some concerns you could spend too much of that making yourself comfortable and happy, hence cutting into the inheritance you will leave behind”, sorry for any inconvenience!…..wrong, wrong, wrong!!
Mum is happy, loved and respected and with the support of a great family lawyer, some great advice and good record keeping on my part (go me) she will not have to have this discussion again and can just ‘live’.
I am banking (pardon the pun) on her being around for at least the next 10 years and possibly 15 if she behaves herself, she’s not totally in agreement with me on this as she says at 81 she’s tired and thinks she may have earned a rest! That’s what she says, but I have used some well-meaning bribery and her love of her newest great-granddaughter to entice and guilt her into being around for as long as possible or at least until the baby is 10 years old (she’s currently 1), I have complete faith in her, she’ll do it and happily!
Well that’s my ‘adulting’ moment for the time being, turned 53 and all hell broke loose, shite balls! All is good and I can go back to believing the world is a great place, full of wonderful people…..mostly!
Thanks for listening and would love to hear any comments, feedback or stories of similar situations….