Weight Loss! Why do we Self Sabotage?

Weight Loss! Why do we Self Sabotage?  I find this hard to write about…..but the truth is, I have self sabotaged my weight loss! Why?

OMG! I was doing well, following the Weight Watchers (WW) program religiously and losing weight, 16 kilos exactly!  It was noticeable and allowed me to wear different clothes and feel confident, whilst it lasted that is!

Why do we do it, self sabotage?  I often read the weight loss quotes and agree with them all but for whatever reason it became all too hard.  Even with my steely resolve, I crumbled and I lost my way – so disappointing 😢

I need to unpackage though the circumstances around my direction change and I can put it down to a few things but ultimately I have to take responsibility for letting my guard down and not sticking to my plan!

I know I cant be too harsh on myself, we all slip but it’s what we do after that shows our true self – will I step back up to the plate and start again or will I try something new or will I give up?

Firstly, the ongoing issues in dealing with degenerative arthritis in my lower spine and disc problems, together with sciatica and knee pain were increasing and pain medication was needed which I believe made it difficult to lose weight, in fact I suspect it was a catalyst to the weight re-appearing!  The main culprit I believe was Lyrica!

Secondly, depression due to the pain and lack of exercise, together with full-time work and caring for Mum  – with my husband’s ongoing struggle around my carer role, he is concerned I do too much and with work and health issues, he feels I need a break from the carers role –  I perceive this as more pressure and he sees it as love and concern for me!

So with all that happening, I started relaxing with a cider or two or three each night and magically the weight re-appeared! Firstly in the belly area and then it crept onto my backside and arms and legs! All in all I rounded myself off well and the weight I had lost came back and in a third of the time it took to lose it!

Well I have since stopped the medication, stopped the cider and am half committed to re-starting the WW program although I need motivation and energy to start cooking healthy meals for myself and the family again – you tend to lose the will to want to feed yourself good stuff – it’s so much easier to go for the quick fix, which is not always healthy or in line with WW!

I know I want to lose weight, I know I need to lose weight and I know I need to sort out some of the ‘shite‘ affecting my personal life at the moment!

It’s too hard to deal with decisions around Nursing Homes for Mum but it is affecting my everyday and my relationship with my husband; he has good intentions, worrying about the burden on me but his concerns add pressure, which I don’t handle well and find I am always arguing with him around the intent of his concerns, which I know I shouldn’t!

This now appears like a rant but I think I needed to get it out of my head, clear the air – get a grip and start the recovery!  Onward and upwards, or downwards 😂 as I need the weight to start falling off again……! 

Wish me luck while I move from despair to repair!  I will keep you posted on my progress, I will of course start dealing with some of the ‘big’ life issues as well and update you along the way.  Thanks for listening 😘

Retro63